The Bible, the Buchmans, and Chinese Water Torture

     Yes, that's right.  Today's post is about that show of shows, that classic of comedic television, Mad About You.  I love this show.  Its just stinking funny.  I'm not quite sure why I love it so much.  Maybe its the fact that its the story of newlyweds making their way through life.  Whatever the reason, this show just tickles me.  If you've never seen it, you don't know what you're missing.      So this morning as I got M up to feed her breakfast, I thought, "I'd like to watch something funny."  That's when I went to my old standby.  Old reliable.  Something familiar, and yet sure to make me laugh  - Mad About You, Season One.  I turned on an episode called "The Apartment." - This just happens to be one of my husband's favorite episodes because you find out that Paul has been subletting his old apartment to none other that Kramer from Seinfeld!  It makes for pretty funny television!
     Anyway, this blog is supposed to be about some "pearl of wisdom," so lets just get to the story and what I learned from it.  The episode has Paul and Jamie arguing over the fact that Paul still hasn't given up the apartment that he lived in before they married.  He says "Its crazy to give up a rent-controlled apartment" (even though he's not making any profit on the rent), but Jamie just sees it as a sign that he's not fully invested in their marriage - that he's keeping a place on the side "just in case things don't work out."  And so, she begins.  Begins what, you ask. What women have been doing so perfectly for centuries - nag.  She tells him how horrible he is, that she would NEVER do something so thoughtless to him, blah, blah, blah. You know the drill.  If you're like me, then you've done it to your husband.
     Paul eventually gives in and begrudgingly agrees to give up the apartment (leading to a pretty hilarious scene between Paul and Kramer).  But that's not good enough for Jamie.  She wants him to want to give up the apartment.  And until he does, she's not gonna let this thing go.
     So, what's so interesting about this episode and the fact that I watched it this morning?  Well, not 20 minutes earlier I had been doing my Bible study on "The Counter-culteral Woman" - a wonderful study by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  While discussing Proverbs 31:27 ("She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness."), Nancy explained that a wife's job is to be watchful over her house, her family, etc and to warn her husband if need be.  Then Nancy said the words that are still burnt into my brain,
        "Now that doesn’t mean you nag him about it. It doesn’t mean you’re the Holy Spirit in his life.  You think before you say it, and you wait to see if it’s God’s time and make sure you’re perceiving it correctly. But as you’re watchful, you’re being a helper to your husband; you’re being a helper to your family."
     Wait a minute!  I'm not the Holy Spirit in my husband's life???  That's right!  There's only one Holy Spirt, and He doesn't need me interfering with His job.  He can handle it.
     That's what Jamie was trying to be in this episode - Paul's Holy Spirit.  She wanted to interfere with his thought process, convict him that what he was doing was wrong, but it didn't work.  It never does!  Have you ever nagged your husband over and over to do something, only to have him do it with a bad attitude?  I have.  And then what happens?  Well, I usually get mad at him and say, "Well, if you're not going to do it with a good attitude, then don't do it at all!"  All the while, he's probably thinking, "How am I supposed to have a good attitude when you won't stop nagging!"
     You see, nagging NEVER works.  That's right!  I said it!  My husband may end up doing what I want him to do, but NEITHER ONE OF US ends up happy.  When I think of nagging, I think of a word used in the Bible - "contentious."  (Wow! Two posts in a week about being a contentious wife!  Do you think God's trying to tell me something???)  Anyway, Proverbs 27:15 says, "A continual dripping on a day of violent showers and a contentious woman are alike."  There's an image that comes to mind when I hear the phrase "continual dripping" - water torture.  In other words, its like torture to live with a contentious/nagging wife - and it could very well drive a husband insane! 
     Lord, please help me to be a loving wife, not a nagging wife.  Help me to be a watchful wife, warning my husband of things in our life that need attention, and then stepping back and letting the Holy Spirit do His work without my interference. Amen.
     Well, that's it.  That's how God brought my Bible study AND the Buchmans together to teach me a lesson on being a godly wife.  Now, lets see if I can put that into practice!  :)

By the way, if you're interested in Nancy Leigh DeMoss's study on "The Counter-culteral Woman," here's the link:
http://www.reviveourhearts.com/topics/series.php?series=187&topic_name=Biblical%20Womanhood

The Opposite of "Contentious"

     Two blog posts in one day!  I'm starting this blog thing off with a bang! :)  So, if you read my first post, you read about my sister-in-law Erin who often blogs about what God is teaching her.  I thought tonight would be a good night to do one of those blogs because MAN! was God teaching me today!  This morning didn't start off great.  In fact, I started this morning off with a fight with my husband.  Basically, I wasn't being very submissive.  Of, course, my haughty heart didn't want to admit that at the time.  After the fight I decided to have a seat and read my Bible. (You know, while I was patiently waiting for God to show him how he was wrong.) Well my sister-in-law and I have been studying Proverbs 31:10-31 for about a week now, so I decided to read that.  Boy was that a bad idea! I got all the way to verse ELEVEN before God got a hold of my heart.  I was reading from my Amplified Bible and verse 11 reads "The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of (honest) gain or need of (dishonest) spoil."  God spoke to me there.  He said "How can your husband trust in you if you're not willing to submit?"  That really ticked me off.  After all, I'm never wrong. Then God put a word into my mind and kept emphasizing it - "contentious." He kept whispering it over and over. (That really got on my nerves.) So I decided to look up passages with the word "contentious" in them on my Kindle. (Did I mention I was using my Kindle to read the Bible?  I didn't yet?  Well, I was and it is GREAT!  But that will be a separate post of its own I'm sure!)      
     Anyway, I looked up "contentious" and found several verses.  The one that really stuck out to me was Titus 3:2.  Now, in the King James Bible, the verse reads "To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men."  In my Amplified Bible, the verse reads "To slander or abuse or speak evil of no one, to avoid being contentious, to be forbearing (yielding, gentle, and conciliatory), and to show unqualified courtesy toward everybody." After I read this verse, I thought, "That's it!  That's the opposite of "contentious" - "FORBEARING!"  OK. Now what on earth does that mean??? Again, the Kindle to the rescue! Just hit a button & it shows you the definition of any word! So I looked at the definition for "contentious" - "causing or likely to cause an argument." (Um, and this morning I believe my picture was right next to that definition!)
     Next I looked up the definition for "forbearing" - "patient and restrained." So, instead of being "likely to cause an argument" with Tom, I should be "patient and restrained." OK, so what does it mean to be "patient" - "being able to wait without becoming annoyed or anxious; slow to lose one's temper."  And what does it mean to be "restrained" - "characterized by reserve or moderation."  That all seemed pretty understandable.  Instead of causing an argument, I should be slow to anger and reserved.  I get that.  Then something else about the definition for "restrained" caught my eye. The fourth definition for "restrained" reads "(of a person) held down and back in a vehicle seat by a seat belt." 
Interesting! To be held by a seat belt. Hmmm...  I should be held back by a seat belt?  What could that seat belt be? Um... THE HOLY SPIRIT!  The Holy Spirit should be the One "restraining" me, holding me back from saying or doing things that aren't pleasing to the Lord. So, I say all of that to say this: You know those bumber stickers that say "God is my co-pilot."  Well, I want one that says "The Holy Spirit is my seat belt!"